|photo by David Gerbec|
I could list the activities for the rest of the day, but suffice it to say I was going a mile a minute. I kept making alternate promises to the faithful pug that we would walk or nap. Well, I didn't actually say the "W" word out loud--just in my head. I did , however, say the nap word and that was enough to send pug into spinning circles every time I got close to the staircase. I was tired, but then I would get distracted by a thought of a design idea or run to the internet to look up a technique I needed for the next project I am attempting. One of my notions had me running to Michael's again. Word to the wise--don't buy a huge canvas on a windy day and then mistakenly park two superstores away. Unless of course, you like wind-surfing on asphalt.
Yes, I am smack dab in the middle of spring mania. I am not a winter girl. Freezing temperatures render me as inert as an ice cube. In the summer heat, I wilt. Right now I am in the sweet spot. No heat. No pollen. No bugs. I can open a window and breath deeply. AH! I want to do everything. And part of the delusion is that I actually believe I can. The problem is that I need to temper my excitement, lest I rush myself because of some panic that my ideas are coming faster than I can realize them. The last thing I want to do is enter a project in full-on zing mode. I need a calmer presence of mind to keep myself in the zone where I can actually accomplish anything.
I'm looking to exercise and meditation to help me even out my jagged edges. As much as I want to wake up tomorrow and launch into painting my parking-lot wind-sail, I know it will serve me better if I write for an hour or so upon rising and then take a time out to go walking with the Misty Morning Walkers. Ninety minutes of hoofing it at a fast pace will get me into a calmer state of mind when I finally sit down with my canvas. I am excited about the new painting and my idea for it. It is either going to be fabulous beyond words or really stink. I can feel it. Or maybe that is just the mania talking. It is a mixed-up mindset in which everything exists as an extreme.
I don't know if other people get this way come springtime. I have not been paying attention long enough to know if this is normal for me. Then again, this is the first year that kids' activities have not slowed me down. No cooking meals for an entire cast during production week of a drama show or hand delivering frozen cookie dough that was the track team fundraiser. Maybe it is my children that have kept me tethered to earth for this long. What am I without their grounding energy? I have no idea, but as an artist and writer, I know these times are special. I need to pay attention when the muse calls my name. Is it mania? Maybe or maybe not, but whatever this frenzy is, I am going to harness it and ride the wave for as long as I can.