Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Between Houses, Between the Worlds

Two years ago in 2013, we sold our Reinholds, PA house on April 26th, not to move to Arden, DE until June 29th. That left us two months without a home. Our in-laws stepped up to the plate and took us into their home in Lititz, PA. We had the upstairs, three bedrooms and a bath to ourselves. Jonah was in the final days of his high school career. Mark was commuting over ninety minutes to work. It was an incubation period as we got ready for our new lives in Arden. I don't think anyone ever dreams about having to stay with their parents or in-laws. It isn't a situation that anyone wants. I had a calendar on the refrigerator which counted down the days until we got our house. I wanted to be in Arden more than anything. I was killing time.

But looking back on those months, I really have to say, I would not have changed the experience if I could. Mark agrees: those two months with his parents were such a gift. We were able to use our regularly appointed living expenses to buy some new things for the house. And we used the time to get projects done with Karen and Nelson's help. Mark, Jonah, and Nelson made us a dining room table and bench out of reclaimed barn wood. Think Big Sur table from Crate and Barrel. While they were doing that, I was making a window seat cushion and started my quilt top, both with help from Karen.  On my own, I created two chalkboards out of old windows, crocheted an afghan, knitted some socks that I was calling cabin slippers, and sewed a bathrobe. Maren sat with her grandmother and learned to crochet a pillow top while the two of them watched Flea Market Flip on HGTV.

Some major happenings went down while we were living in Lititz. The town of Lititz itself was celebrating being named the Coolest Small Town in America, and we were able to join in the festivities. Also, while we staying in Lititz, Jonah was in a minor car accident, which meant that we were down a car. Juggling four cars for five drivers was ultimately easier than juggling two cars for three drivers. Nelson got hearing aids for the first time, which is more of a transition than most people realize. Jonah graduated high school, and we celebrated with a party at my sister's pool. Maren had what may have been her final dance concert ever.

While we didn't eat dinner all together every night (our schedules were different), we had a few family dinners including the time we sat down to eat Cobb Salads off of the vintage plates that Karen has been collecting over the years and off which the kids had never eaten.

It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. We had to navigate around the living room which broadcast Fox News 24/7, volume turned up until the hearing aids arrived, and the Castle reruns playing in the family room. Sometimes, it didn't seem like there was anywhere to go to get away from the dueling TVs, none of which were playing shows we wanted to watch. (We don't have our TV running nonstop  in our home.) Lucky for us, it was a beautiful spring. I could read on the deck. Mark and I were able to take long walks. Jonah had a near miss with a class which meant he almost didn't graduate. That set off another chain of long, somewhat agonizing, walks with just him and us, his parents. And yet, we all managed the experience with grace and serenity. Translation: No relationships were harmed in this execution of this living arrangement. I daresay it even brought us closer.

The time we spent waiting to come to Arden, made us that more hungry for the experience, and more appreciative when the hour  finally arrived. We came to our house fully gestated and ready to begin our adventure. Jonah didn't make the journey with us. He stayed back at his grandparents, mowing lawns and readying himself for college in the fall. Then, after his freshman year at West Chester, he took this year off college and went back to live with his grandparents because Lancaster County was close to friends and job. Because we lived with Karen and Nelson for two months, we are better able to imagine his life there and feel comfortable with his choices at this point in his life. We are so grateful to Karen and Nelson for, not only sheltering all of us when we needed it, but also helping to make it a fruitful period in our lives as well. I will always look back with fondness on our homeless days. We were between the worlds.


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